fall.

I used to hate the fall. "Fall only means that winter is coming." - I would claim - "It just means colder temperatures and everything dulls and dies. Summer forever!" Throughout my college years I stood by this notion firmly. As my friends all cozied up and enjoyed the new brisk air coming through, I sulked and prepared for what seemed to me "the worst".

I used to hate the fall. Until I moved to country where seasons don't change and it really does feel like  summer forever. Nowadays autumn is one of the seasons that makes me the most homesick. I miss the changing colors, the not sweating every time you step outside, the flannel and scarves, the chill in the air. I miss the wrapping up in a blanket and bonfires and apple picking and fair food and ALL THE PUMPKIN SPICE. And the boots. Oh, how I miss the boots.

But this missing of the fall season goes so much deeper then just the frills that come along with it. I think on another level, my heart longs to see the physical proof that there can be beauty in brokenness. Because in reality when fall hits and temperatures drops, a lot of live things around us begin to die. The leaves changing and dropping from the trees really does signify that winter is coming. That darkness is upon us. That brokenness is all around.

But yet, somehow it's just so beautiful. There is always thankfulness in the brokenness. So really what I think I miss most about the fall is the healing that always awaited me there. That amidst the red and yellow and orange leaves falling, I was somehow falling more in love with Jesus. That as I wrapped that blanket around my shoulders, the Spirit of comfort would wrap itself around my heart. That as I drew close to hot cups of coffee and big, blazing bonfires to warm my fingers and toes, my heart was somehow drawn closer to Him to warm the colder places of my soul.

There's something to be said about the changing of seasons. Each one brings its own ups and downs and curveballs and joys - but autumn and all of it's healing { and let's be honest, all of it's pumpkin too } is one that I will continually miss the most.