repair.

It's almost as if learning Spanish is repairing my soul.

Between the verb conjugations and new vocabulary and past tenses and future tenses and conditional tenses and presentations and exams and homework...something bigger is happening. In my heart of hearts, I know this. But I am still trying to grasp it, understand it, live it, believe it.

This grace that is learning Spanish. Little by little, He is using my time here to break me in the most beautiful way possible and teach me a small piece of His depth.

He repairs. He is repairing the pieces of my heart and I did not understand how desperately they were seeking this restoration.

For so long I have lived content in broken and bruised pieces of my heart, content with not fully living.

And now? I have tasted Life. The True Life. And I never want to let it go. This True Life is not one that comes easily and it is not always filled with joy. The True Life is one that allows the heart to enter brokenness. To actually feel pain. To process the emotions that are the voice of the heart. The True Life sometimes even breaks your heart.

But it is always filled with grace.

So when asked: "Do you wish you had learned Spanish when you were younger or in the States?" - all I can think about is this grace that is learning Spanish. This restoring, repairing thing. Yes, it would be nice to speak perfectly and with more fluency and understand everything that was said to me with ease. But it's not only about the Spanish. It's about the soul.