bruise.

You don't realize it at first, ya know? All the places in your soul that have been wounded. And sometimes its that same little spot that just kept getting bruised over and over and over again. You don't even see that it never had time to heal until your circumstances require that you use that one little bruised piece of your heart - and that's when you realize how deep even the smallest of bruises can go.

But what you don't notice in the moment of the initial sting is that even a simple understanding of the situation doesn't mean the bruise didn't happen. That you can't brush over hurt with one sloppy stroke of reason. That no matter how silly or stupid or small of a disappointment - distracting yourself instead of feeling the weight of it all only proves to deepen the bruise, along with the lies and self pity it creates.

Then it becomes part of your deepest heart level and, even worse, you may not even notice something is terribly wrong. You carry on in your day to day normalcy of life, unaware of the limp in your soul. Unaware of the half-living. Unaware of the carrying of your past into your present.

Recently I discovered a bruise that I thought I had passed over with ease and grace. It was pressed - and hard. I found myself curled up in a web of irrational lies and I forgot. I forgot Whose it is that I am. I forgot Whose heart mine belongs to. I forgot hesed Love. I forgot the promises that are my sure and unshakeable foundation. And in the forgetting, my walls of self protection shot up on every side of me and I suddenly found myself utterly and completely alone. Because that's what happens when we build our walls - we think we are protecting ourselves from harm, hurt, disappointment. Until we finish our constructing and turn around to find ourselves in a self-made prison of isolation. Walls don't block out only the bad - they just as equally block out the good.

And sometimes the only way to find your way back to the light is to walk toward the darkness. So that's what I did, that morning when my bruise was nudged. I wrestled my fears and grieved my losses and cried my sorrows. And I let it all go. Surrendering can heal even the deepest of bruises - because it's in the surrendering that the Healer can place His gentle hands on the thin and weary parts of our souls to breathe life and wholeness back in.

YL Road Trip.

Instead of our normal summer camp atmosphere, we decided to take some risks and do something a little different for 2016. This past weekend was our first ever Young Life Road Trip...and it was a huge success! We went all over the northern part of Nicaragua to a few different surprise adventure locations...including waterfalls, canyon, lagoons, horses, camping and more! We also had the privilege of having our friend Grace - who is on YL staff in Costa Rica - come up for the weekend and share each night about the greatest adventure of all time...the adventure of a relationship with Jesus. As we explored more of the beautiful country of Nicaragua, we also explored more of who Jesus is and who we are in Him! 

Here are some of the highlights of all the adventure-ing that happened this weekend:

Stop #1: Paintball

Stop #2: Waterfall

Stop #3: Scavenger Hunt Challenge

Stop #4: Somoto Canyon

Stop #5: Club, Camping & Bonfires

Stop #6: Sunrise Horseback Riding

Stop #7: Lagoon

Stop #8: Back to Managua!

path.

"Every path He guides us on is fragrant with His loving-kindness."

Early this morning, I reached yet again for this reminder - printed in little black swirls across a field of floral, ceramic greenery. I can always tell on the days I need to be reminded. My hand knows before my heart does as I reach seemingly absent-minded for that one specific mug. As my coffee cup was being filled, a sudden longing overcame me for a different type of filling - a soul filling.  I was caught off guard by the sudden sigh that escaped when I read those words. How long had I been holding in that breath?

Sometimes I have a hard time believing - believing that on every path, I am led by bonds of Love (Hosea 11:4). Sometimes I stand and look out at the path before me. I feel strongly that He is the One who brought me here yet somehow am paralyzed with fear in moving forward. I look out and see only uncertainty and unknown and potential risks. I see all the ways I could get lost or fall down or be broken. My vision gets clouded with "what if" and "it wasn't suppose to be this way".

Yet, I feel Him beckoning me, calling me out into the depths of His love. This reminder quiets the wild thumping of my heart as I realize that the only thing left to do is embrace what He has laid out before me - even when I can't be sure of what it will entail.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1) Easier said then done. Even still - it must be done. I have found that when I am faithful to walk down the unseen path, when I believe just enough to put one foot in front of the other, when I trust that He will be with me always - even to the end of the ages (Matthew 28:20) - when I am brave enough to lean into the fear of uncertainty...He meets me there and carries me through the days and weeks and years to come.

So as I stand before my path today, looking out at the giant question mark that stares me back in the face - I look to His truth to light each step and I simply do the next thing. And right now that next thing is filling up another cup of coffee and breathing in the sweetest of all reminders:

"Every path He guides us on is fragrant with His loving-kindness."

(Psalm 25:10a)

rain.

For the first time in a long time, the rain is pouring down today - steady and sure.

Not in the sometimes terrifyingly stormy way nor in the light, drizzly, lazy way - but a simple, consistent, lure-you-to-sleep kind of rain.

For hours it has filled my ears, clinging the tin roof and pounding the ground outside.

Though I can't say I am complaining - it has been so long since I've welcomed the dreariness of a rainy day.

A day of to-do lists thrown out and giddy anticipation of time spent curled up with a steaming mug full of coffee and a move-you-to-tears book.

As much as I love the brightness of a sunny day with it's happy blue skies - I equally cherish the rain.

Not only does it bring a relieving coolness to the air around me but also relieves something deep within.

Rain does something for me that the sun cannot - a healing, cleansing touch only made available when skies around me gray with water-filled clouds.

Rain awakens something within me and washes clean the places I can't reach on my own.

It falls all around me, even on the bare desert of my soul and it feels like I can finally breathe.

Places inside of me that have been dying of thirst are suddenly awakened and renewed, like a little green shoot of life bursting through drought-ridden soil.

I can't quite explain it, what this rain does to me.

But I know that I need it desperately - just as much as the thirsty, dry ground outside.

So I open my heart to this fountain of healing, allowing the drops to fall where they may - working their way into the dark depth within me and bringing forth life where I thought only brokenness existed.