dive.

I love the beach. I love so-very-much everything about it - the salty air, the sweltering heat, the sandy toes, the sun-kissed skin. I love watching the big ball of orange sink down over the horizon, showering the sea with it's kaleidoscope of colors. I love walking up and down the shores in search of those unique, one-of-a-kind seashells, with waves running up to my feet and falling back down into the salty abyss.

Still, as much as I love the beach - I really don't like the ocean. Or rather, I'm kind of terrified of it. It's too vast, too cold and too unknown to be enjoyable. When I think about diving into the ocean, my mind immediately dives into all the things that could go wrong - which creatures will find me, which current will carry me away, which wave will knock me down. Too many things could hurt me. For me, the ocean is a risky place.

I'm drawn to it nonetheless.

Each time I'm at the beach, the ocean almost calls me - to wade into its depths, to take the dive, to feel it's coolness on my skin. And each time, I give in. It feels I have no choice. The ocean is not safe yet I somehow always find myself there.

And you know what? As scary and unknown and terrifying as the ocean is - I think it's worth it.

This physical act of diving in - I need it as much physically as I do spiritually and emotionally. This diving into risky places - places of uncertainty or brokenness or doubt or sadness - it's always worth it. Because these are the places that make us human, that keep us alive. These are the places of truth, the places where newness and healing and wholeness are born. When I ignore these places, when I brush over them with a simple sigh or numb them with a screen in my face, I'm not really living. I'm not free. In fact, when I don't dive into pain, I become enslaved to it. Without realizing, it begins to own me and dictate my every move, every decision. The fear of feeling takes me over and paralyzes the heart and soul.

So dive, I must. To live. To feel. To be. And I'm not alone there.

It is in these spaces where Jesus becomes the most real - His presence pressing deeply into the fear, His peace washing over the heart, His healing touch mending the soul, His light breaking the walls of darkness. He meets me there each time, those eyes of Love looking into mine as He calls me His own.

This simple act of diving is becoming a life source for me...the physical dive curing my fear of the ocean, the emotional dive curing my fear of feeling, the spiritual dive curing my fear of brokenness. All the while diving deeper into this extravagant love of Jesus.