breathe.

This morning was one of those mornings. One of those morning where as soon as my eyes open, I just want to shut them again. Roll over, forget about the day, stay in the comfy fortitude of cream and white cotton where I can block everything out by the simple closing of my eyelids. It was one of those mornings where the first emotion felt was panic because the only thing running through my head was my list. Oh my dreaded, beloved list. I love to hate and hate to love my list. My ongoing, never ending, ever growing, keeps me sane, makes me insane list of all that there is to do in a day, week, month. How am I suppose to even think about this before I can get my hands on my morning coffee? Well this morning I did and let me tell you - it wasn't pretty. I laid there in my bed, petrified of moving, frozen in fear. Unsure of how to let my feet hit the floor...and then I heard the words, loud & clear, whispering to my wildly beating heart:

"just breathe in grace."

I stopped for a moment, letting this sink in - sink in to the very core of my being, to my very soul - when I heard it again: 

"breathe in My grace." 

And so I sat there, in a few minutes of silence before the loudness, craziness, business of the day began...and I breathed in His grace.

breathe in. { grace }
breathe out. { panic }
breathe in. { grace }
breathe out. { anxiety }

And on and on this cycle went, in those precious few moments that He sought me in the midst of my crazy. In the midst of my mess. In the midst of my { almost } full blown break down.

I often find myself back here. This simple act of breathing. This exercise of the soul. In the wilderness of life, it is these simple pauses in the day that keep me sane. But it is always Him who gives me the reminder to breathe. If left up to me, I find myself drowning in panic and doubt and control and lists and hopelessness.

breathe in. { His will }
breathe out. { my will }

breathe in. { hope }
breathe out. { despair }

breathe in. { peace }
breathe out. { worry }

breathe in. { joy }
breathe out. { heaviness }

Breathing these life-giving words in and out have become vital for the wellbeing of my soul. And as long as my physical body keeps breathing, I must allow the soul to breathe as well.