surrender.

Having the luxury of time to write has become a thing of the past. I often find myself "writing" in my mind, late at night when the insomnia kicks in. Beautiful words come and lull me to sleep before I ever have the chance to write them down. Before I know it, morning has arrived and I'm tired and I need coffee and I'm off to conquer the world. At least, this is how it feels most days. (And I generally fail at conquering the world.)

This summer has been one giant whirlwind of traveling, camps, reading books that change me, physical labor, spiritual labor, laughing til it hurts, lack of sleep, mental breakdowns, sweet conversations, seeing people I haven't in a while, not seeing people I normally see all the time, missing South Carolina, falling more in love with Nicaragua - and amidst it all discovering more and more of this thing we call grace. 

Surrender: to give up, abandon, relinquish. Two thousand fourteen has been a year surrendering for me. Expectations. Timelines. Relationships. Ministry. Schedule. Heart. Certainty. Comfort. But it is in the surrendering that I find peace. When I attempt to hold on, I am unable to free fall into the abyss of grace. And I have found that it is only there that I can live fully. Though often I fight it, grasp at control, lose sight of hope, retreat into my walls - He is always there to remind me that I can trust Him.

And that in surrendering, the eyes of my heart are opened to see Jesus for who He really is...and He is always good.