YL.

Some encouragement for all my fellow Young Lifers out there as the new school year begins.

joy dare.

august 6th: three gifts in water.

// Olga's centerpiece, which changes almost daily // hot water // perspiration on my water bottle //

august 7th: three gifts in His Word.

// philippians 4:6-7 // habakkah 3:19 // psalm 119:32 // 

 august 8th: three gifts in summer.

(but it's always summer-like in Costa Rica, so I changed this to

three gifts in Costa Rica.)

// ant hill in my room // flower peaking out of it's gate // Costa Rican coffee //

august 9th: a gift hole, whole, & half.

// light shining through a hole and onto my desk // a window half open on the bus // a whole lotta fun with these girls //

august 11th: 3 gifts of wood.

// wooden boats on the Costa Rica coast //

details.

I once heard a speaker say, "Don't ever forget that God knows you and He knows what you like."

It has stuck with me...He knows what I like. He knows what I love. He knows what makes my heart skip a beat.

Rain pouring on a tin roof.

Bright colors.

The click of a camera.

The contrast of black and white photographs.

Inspiring poetry.

The heat of a fresh cup of coffee.

Sun shining in a window.

That first sip of water when you wake up in the morning.

Running.

Soap suds.

Hand written letters.

The scratch of a pen as I write.

A sky decorated with clouds.

The details of life. These are the things that I cannot live without. I thrive in the small, minuscule, seemingly ordinary details because I am convinced that it is the details where I will see Christ more clearly.

He keeps giving, I keep seeing. He keeps loving, I keep being loved. And falling in love, all over again, every day, with every detail I receive as grace.

Because that's all it is - His grace. His grace is written on and woven into the details.

So how can I help but love them?

joy dare.

I have taken a dare, this month. A joy dare. A dare to count my grace gifts every day.

Generally, I count because I have to because if I don't count, I forget all He is teaching. And I feel my heart hardening each day I don't count and record these gifts in my little gray book of "grace moments".

But this month will be different as I will have 3(ish) specific things to look for every day and to count as grace. And so I have decided to document them with my handy dandy iPhone and post them here so that you might see a little of what I see. And so that grace might abound all the more. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

august 1: three gifts white.

// white notebook contrasted with black ink // white coffee cup & white light in window // white clouds blending to create a blanket of softness over the mountains //

august 2: three gifts eaten.

// my new favorite North American snack // fresh, white, hot bread // black coffee from Olga //

august 3rd: a gift at ten am, one pm & ten pm.

// ten am: eating Fruit Loops for breakfast with these goons // one pm: the local Saturday market // ten pm: sweet reminder as I read and sip on hot tea //

august 4th: three gifts sitting.

// Oswall sitting on his bed, all smiley and cute // colorful sprinkles sitting on top of a rainbow of cupcakes // Mr. Raccoon sitting on my bed //

august 5th: a gift outside, inside & upside down.

// outside: rain drops on a tin roof // inside: drying laundry // upside down: a beautifully fallen flower on the way to school //

enter.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our LORD Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of glory of God. Not only so, but because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has pour out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

-Romans 5:1-5

It's all connected.

Grace. Disappointment. Joy. Suffering. Hope.

It's all intertwined, each cannot truly exist without the other. Each thread spinning from the same spool. It's a beautiful, tangled, grace-filled mess. This idea of stepping into suffering in order to step into true joy. We cannot have one without the other.

But we can sure try. We can mask the pain and disappointment life brings. We can even have moments of joy in the midst of it all. But to live in the true, full, Christ-like joy, we must turn around and face the filth and dirt and pain and hardships life has brought us.

True joy can sometimes hurt. But, as Ann VosKamp wrote, "Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living."

How long have I been "numbing myself" to the full life, out of fear of the unknown or pain or rejection?

And then there's this word hope. Recently, a friend wrote to me, "I am scared to hope in God because I realize that doesn't prevent pain and suffering - so why would I?"

But isn't the answer in the question? Hoping doesn't prevent. But hoping opens us up to truly living and truly feeling and truly rejoicing.

And this is why in Romans 5:5, Paul tells us "And hope does not disappoint us." It doesn't disappoint us because we were made to feel- all of it! We were created to have emotions. But by feeling some emotions and stuffing the ones that hurt, I am robbing myself of the gift to be able to stand on grace. (Romans 5:2) So I must, we must, enter into the pain, disappointments, hardships of the past, present, future - because without this entrance, fear wins. Without this entrance, we sell ourselves short. Without this entrance, we miss out on so much of what life with Christ could be.

I have spent so many years missing out because I am scared of brokenness. But as the Lord is working and teaching and revealing, I feel the joy seeping back in. It fills me, this joy, like the first sip of water I've had in days. And it frees me.

Entering the places that chain us sets us free. The pain of brokenness liberates.

And so I keep walking, one foot in front of the other, into the ugly places of my life - hoping in the promise that on the other side, there will be something beautiful.