I think the key to finally being able to look forward to twenty-eight is looking back on what it meant to be twenty-seven. I still remember the exact moment on my twenty-seventh birthday where I heard the sweetest, most gentle Voice speak promise after promise after promise over me. As I stood there on the oceans edge, looking out over the waves crashing before me - inexplicably yet surely, the words came to me.
"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." - Psalm 27:4
As I opened to Psalm 27 and read, I watched the tears fall onto the pages because this was everything. I knew right then and there I longed to stake a promise, a claim, a hope for my twenty-seventh year of life. Little did I know how many times throughout the year I would return to this Psalm, this moment, this sacred word.
On the eve of my twenty-eighth birthday, I re-read Psalm 27 for the hundredth and something time. I was filled with a sense of peace and gratitude as I thought back to all that had happened in the past year. You see, my twenty-seventh year was nothing at all what I expected it to be. In fact, the year was marked with transition, loss, grief, loneliness, heartbreak, rejection, disappointment, failure, challenge. The year brought more tears than I had ever imagined...but there was healing to be found in the tears. There was wholeness to be found in the brokenness. There was growth to be found in the pain.
Twenty-seven helped me learn what it means to be brave, in the big and small. It taught me how to listen to the voice of God over the voice of fear, that had for so long controlled my life. It taught me how to connect to this buried and bruised piece of my heart that I had been ignoring for years. It taught me how to anchor my soul to it's Maker. It taught me how Jesus is always on my team. It taught me how to face the darkness. It taught me how to seek His goodness in the midst of heartache. It taught me how to live wild & free. It taught me how to grow into the person God created me to be rather than the person I thought other people wanted me to be.
When I look back at twenty-seven, it feels like Jesus used the year as a whole to take this one piece of my heart that was broken and bleeding and wounded and sealed it back into place. It feels like the hands of a Healer were intricately and carefully sewing a piece of me back together - one that I did not even know had been severed off. It was painful, that is for absolute certain. But oh-so worth it.
So as I look back to twenty-seven, I can find hope in twenty-eight. Because I know and believe that no matter what the year brings, Jesus will take care of me. He always has and He always will. This is where my hope lies. This is where my heart rests. This is where my soul finds peace.
Here's to you, twenty-eight!
Psalm 27
The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confidant.
One thing I ask of the LORD,
that I will seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You said said, "Seek my face."
My heart says to you,
"Your face, LORD, do I seek."
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off, forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
I believe I shall see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
