Sometimes life feels a little like I'm living it right smack dab in the middle. The place where the initial excitement and storybook fantasies have worn away yet the light at the end of the tunnel still feels a little too far. The place where everyday I wake up wondering how long. The place that feels raw and fragile and real and deep all at the same time. The place where tears flow at even the smallest touch of the heart. The place of process and mess and the will-I-ever-feel-like-I-have-it-together-again. Oh, the middle.
While the middle often feels like getting repeatedly knocked over by life's overwhelming waves, it is also the birthplace of growth. The place of finally pushing past all the sludge and seeing your heart for what it really is: His. The place of learning the deep places of your soul that have been hidden and buried all these years. The place of fully becoming the person that God created you to be.
That bittersweet place where the highs fill you with such joy, you feel as if you might burst. While the lows are just as deeply felt, constantly on the brink of tears. It's an unexpectedly beautiful gift - to live life in the middle.
I have to believe that the middle is good. I have to believe more than anything else, in the very core of my being - that it is good. Not because of the emotional highs and lows, not because of the seemingly unsteady ground I tread over, not because of the curveballs life throws at me that somehow seem heightened. It is good because the One who is leading me through the middle is good. His hand extended, beckoning me to come. To keep my eyes fixed on Him. To keep taking steps towards Him. To keep putting one foot in front of the other, trusting He will guide each step exactly where it needs to go.
If I'm really honest, most days I really hate the middle. I hate the utter mess of it all and the unorganized way it unfolds. I despise the inconvenience of days that seem wasted having to deal and feel with the storm of pent up energy surging inside of me. It's on these days I have to remember: this is the most important thing. This is the holiest of work I can do, to open my heart to my Healer and walk alongside Him as He makes beauty from ashes.
